Reading over all of my blogs, I call them outbursts, I've realized that I have totally looked in to much on the negative. I forgot to look at all the positive things in my life.
I have best friends, that love me. I have a family, though right now it's bruised, that love me. I have a home, that doesn't always feel like a home, but it's mine.
The last month or so has been the worst of my entire life. My parents have decided to get a divorce. I was, of course, completely confused and beyond upset. I didn't know what happened and I wasn't sure what to do. I just wanted to try and get my parents back together. But there wasn't anything that I could do. I mean I could have talked and cried and begged my mom and dad to get back together but what good would it have done? It would have done nothing but hurt everyone worse. My dad is now dating someone... and my mom is doing her own thing. She hangs out with her friends a lot and they are both happy. So it's alright with me.
A few days after everything with my parents happened, my grandma was put in the hospital. She broke her hip. She's fine now though and she's up and walking. Her sister died a few days ago, but she's going on like her sister would want her to. Also, my uncle died of cancer. He had a heat attack and that's when they found the cancer but it was to late.
My brother moved out, so I only see him at school. I get to see him some weekends but he's only at home long enough to get him some more clothes.. He's now living with my dad.
I wrote something on my facebook page not to long ago about how sometimes life isn't fair. I'm going to put that on here:

In my 17, almost 18, year’s I’ve learned that sometimes life sucks. Something’s happen that you really wish didn’t and then other times you wish you could replay moments when you loved life the most. I’ve also learned that nothing will be perfect. I’ve had my heart broken and I’m sure that I’ve broken a few myself and I’ll probably do it again without meaning to. I have friends and family that love me for the stupid things that I do sometimes and I have those days where I don’t even feel like breathing. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed because I know the day wont get any better or just want to stay in bed because I just hate my life at that moment. I have done things in my life that I wish I hadn’t done but that I’m glad I did because I learned from it. Sometimes life isn’t perfect but God wanted it that way to teach me something. He’s my strength when I feel like I have nothing. I may not live the way I should or I may not have something’s that others have but I do have Him, my parents and the best friends I could ever want. And thats all I could ever want. And that’s all I could ever need in life. Some day’s I may not want to smile or sing or dance like I usually do. But I will live the way I should and I know that I should. Life isn’t something that you do for kicks. It’s something that you have to make for yourself. And that’s what I’m going to do. My life isn’t a colorful rainbow but I will make it just as bright. I don’t have a lot of money but I will be rich with happiness and faith. I don’t need people that pretend to care because I have people that really do. And I don’t need a guy to make me happy. I just want one to make me look smarter (sorry if that’s offensive to some guys) but I love my life. Sometimes I may hate it but I have everything to make me happy. My parents, my best friends, my other mothers, my aunts and uncles. No matter what I know these people and many others are ALWAYS going to be here for me. And for that I say I love you and thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me.

I know life isn't always going to be fair. And that's okay with me. When life finally starts to go my way, I'm sure that means the world is probably going to end. :) 

Lately, I've been talking to a guy that I've already wrote about on here. He would be the guy that I said I fell in love with. I still believe that. I don't know if he'll be my prince charming, and I don't know if I'll end up being his Cinderella. But one thing I know for sure, I do love him. And I always will.

When I look back on my life the past few months, I feel sadness but I also feel happiness. Life isn't a guaranteed thing. It can be taken or it can be given. Live your life as if you would die tomorrow. 

That's all for now. 

xoxox,

Kasey Marie :)   

I'm soooo confused..

I'm so confused.
Have you ever told someone how you feel about them and then completely wish you hadn't? Well i did and i really wish i hadn't done it.
I told my ex that i still had feelings for him. And it's not like i don't, because i do. But i just got out of a really bad relationship with someone i thought i was gonna be with for the rest of my life.
The relationship between me and this guy ended because he thought we was better as friends. But now he says he still has feelings for me, and i told him i had feelings for him too. I'm just not completely sure if i wanna be in another relationship..
I just don't know..

Stupid BOYS!

How can a guy say that he loves you, and then call your best friend names and crap?
How can a guy say that he loves you, if all he thinks is that your gonna cheat on him when your with your best friend?
How can a guy say that he loves you, if all he seems to wanna do it argue?

WHO CAN ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS!?

If anyone can, PLEASE tell me.

I needa job!

I need a new phone. It's like turning red on me!
I need my license. I hate staying home all the time!
so long story short.....
I NEED A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


XOXO,
KASEY MARIE! :) 

Maybe I'm happier now without you!

I have been talking to a NEW GUY! And he's closer to my age then the other. Even if now i really have no idea what is gonna happen.
Comments? Opinions?
Leave it :)

xoxo,
Kasey

I'll be alright when your back on my side...

Recently me and the guy that i fell so hard in love with started talking again. Actually it was last night. I started the whole conversation on a facebook message. Telling him how stupid i felt for everything that happened between us and that i wanted him back. It's not like i was lying. i really do want him back and i really do love him. he asked me to call him because i wanted to talk to him. Maybe he thought that if we finally talked, then i would leave him alone. I'm not really sure but i'm glad we finally talked. Even if we weren't going to take things slowly, I'm still really glad that we at least talked.
To those who are completely lost in all this, i said some things that i really regret. I lost the one person, other than my best friends, that i could be myself around. I usually keep what i think to myself, but with him, i could say what i wanted. I could tell how i felt about something. Maybe he would get upset at first but he would always talk to me about it. And that's just one of the amazing things that i love about him. And i really hope everything will go back to normal.
I've learned from all of this that things can change so fast that you don't even have time to process it. Some people say things that they probably shouldn't and learn from the mistake they made. I know i've learned that. So some advice for those who do the same thing or done the same thing; the smartest decision would be to, THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! It'll keep you outa trouble and keep those you love, or hate, alright and keep everything drama free.
That's it for now.

Kasey Marie :) xoxox

Love lost..What to do now?

You know that feeling you get when you feel like your in love with someone and everything is okay? Well I've had that feeling and then that feeling completely crushed me...
I fell for a guy who said that he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. He wanted us to move in together right after i got out of high school. Even said he would start working so that way we would have the money. He wanted to marry me and have children with me..said that he wanted to love me forever. And i knew he meant it. And i did too. I loved him and i still do with everything that i have. i don't know how im suppose to get over him..
I know that everything happens for a reason, but i hate not knowing what the reason is..
You know it's even worse when you cry yourself to sleep and he doesn't even seem to care..my heart is completely broken and i don't know how to get over it..
I'm back in to my depressed state again and i hate it! I hate being so mean to myself and everyone around me. I just don't even wanna be myself anymore..
i don't know what to do without him. i cry to sleep at night simply because i miss him so much that i cant close my eyes because FINALLY my reality was better then my dreams..and now they are both nightmares.
What to do...